This past week I have been trying to determine what I want to see myself doing this summer. I have been offered an opportunity to start and run a painting business this summer but have also discovered a study abroad opportunity that I am very interested in. To help sort through this choice and gain advice, I called my dad. We talked for a long time last night about what he did over his summers in college and what he thought I should consider in the future. Even though I went into the conversation looking for advice, I tried to focus on my dad and talk with him about what he thought and his past experiences because I feel like he has a lot of personal experiences and knowledge to share.
During our conversation I [A] asked him to tell me his stories. I listened to him as he told me about how he had experiences painting over summers between college semesters and what it is like now running his own business in construction. He also offered a lot of advice towards studying abroad as he was active in college. By putting my own opinions aside and listening to his past and stories, I was able to learn a lot about what I think I want to do in the future. I used the technique of [M] mirror, and [P] paraphrase to stimulate discussion. To avoid getting side-tracked on how classes are going and other aspects of my life, I replied to his statements in a way that would generate more discussion on his part. I would try to stimulate a continuation on a story he was telling. I think I was able to do this well during our conversation, and as a result the details grew and I learned a lot from and about my dad that I didn’t know before.
Towards the end of the conversation I used the techniques of Agree and Build to relate my current situation to his past and to show that I understood and can take lessons away from what he told me. I used Build to show how I can relate to his stories by intertwining our scenarios and Agree to come to a conclusion on what I should focus on. I feel like I can improve on my ability to use Build as often times this would lead me to rambling about myself, but I feel like with practice this can be improved. Through the conversation I learned a lot from my dad and have realize that I want to manage a business and innovate in today’s business world, but I should wait for different opportunities or build some for myself. Painting is not for me, so I have decided to apply for studying abroad this summer and am working on a side project that will hopefully grow in the future.
I was also offered a job/internship as a painter over the summer this year, but I turned it down. I think that a study abroad experience would be much better anyways. We can get internships when we're upperclassmen and have more opportunities laid out before us.
ReplyDeleteI think that using the emotional intelligence skills to have a conversation with your dad is a good idea. I think I might try that sometime. I feel like our parents are people that we have know for all of our lives, but sometimes we don't realize how little we know about their past. Good job.
-Matt
It's very interesting how you turned a conversation that seemed to be about yourself into a conversation that relied mostly on your father talking. It takes a lot of skill and willpower to be able to refrain from having the conversation be about you and your experiences. You clearly were able to do it well because not only did you learn more about your dad, but you also got some great stories that will help you make your decision. Well done!
ReplyDeleteAlex
I highly agree with Alex.
ReplyDeleteWow. I really respect your social ability to transform a self-conversation to an external topic. It's really hard to do something like that, but you DEFINITELY rocked it.
I have had similar conversations with my father, but they were more direct than "transitional" like yours was.
My favorite thing, though, was how you ended with relating to what he talked about. That's a really good thing to do, especially as a son. And that's definitely something to apply in the business world, because the ability to relate with people is something you'll always want.
~Ankit Jain